I had a hard time thinking of what to even write with today being what it is. Today my baby girl would have been celebrating her 4th birthday! I was supposed to be waking her up to hugs and kisses and singing to her, but now all my mind is left with is the what ifs. I thought that with time this would get a little easier, but each year this day approaches apart of me wishes it would never come. I still feel angry and as if I was robbed of a lifetime of memories together. I actually was. I’m still not sure why she had to be taken from me and I’m not sure I’ll EVER understand💔 I really wish I could just stay home all day and be in the comfort of my children, but no life must go on I guess…..

My mind is filled with so many questions today! I wonder who she would have grown to look more like mommy or daddy? I wonder what her first word would have been. How her first birthday would have went. What her first day of preschool would have been like. I wonder would she be as sassy as her sister?! Unfortunately I will never know…

All I have left are ultrasound pictures of my angel and pictures of her stretching my belly with her kicks!❤️ the memories of my sweet Gabriella I will always cherish ❤️

Here are some of my favorite pictures of our sweet short lived journey together ❤️

This picture makes me so happy because I remember how I was so sad that every Christmas after this I would be empty handed, God had other plans because my next child was born on Christmas Day ☺️❤️this pic was hilarious she was literally showing her ass 😂I know she would have been so silly ☺️I couldn’t wait to follow this picture up with a picture of her 💔the best nap I’ve ever taken I honestly didn’t want it to end ❤️

My favorite item of hers! I remember holding her as we took the longest nap together ☺️💕 before we departed each other ❤️

Moving forward i keep reminding myself how thankful I am to have the two living children that I do! Being a parent isn’t easy by any means, but when I tell you it’s SO WORTH IT, BELIEVE ME☺️ every year I will celebrate the memory of my baby girl and one day I will tell her siblings all about her ❤️ ✌🏻